Tryna get over my writer’s block

Anxiety alters your writings.

It grabs you away from expressing words you’re meant to say. And it could be a big problem when writing is the skill that your job is based on! Like journalism.

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“One of millions”

Mental illness is still marketed. Seeing all the news about Sinead O’Connor video on Facebook about her suffering from mental illnesses and pathetic headlines that stigmatize mental health in order to get some more views.

The Irish singer posted a 12-min video where she talked about her suffering from 3 mental illnesses, that she wanted to commit suicide in the last 2 years, and how she felt isolated after losing custody of her 13-year-old son.

It’s pitiful the way news websites consider talking about mental illness with such a sentimental style using exaggerated language only when it’s a matter of public figure and forget to create features about mental illnesses on a regular time scale. It is really sad and alarming that video of O’Connor which shows how much suffering someone could go through. The use of words with stigmatizing connotations has a large impact on the public debate about mental illness ( harrowing, troubled..).

There’s a lot to reflect about the reporting on mental illness in Online Media, and how some words can hold judgment and direct her case into a debatable subject. Also, how people with ongoing mental illness or thought of attempting suicide will feel when reading such-a-supposedly-piece of news. When reporting mental illness and psychotherapy, media tends to get it wrong fueling stigma rather than giving accurate information about mental health. In addition to the above, WHO urges media outlets to stay away from “sensational coverage of suicides”. Giving that the report published by WHO is related to suicide coverage, it is important to note that in the case of O’Connor speaking up of her thoughts, media reports can also have a strong impact.

Reporting of suicide in an appropriate, accurate and potentially helpful manner by enlightened media can prevent tragic loss of lives by suicide.

__World Health Organisation (2000)


Covering mental illness and trying to erase stigma around it is a way of raising awareness on mental health generally.

Paperwork about the media and Palestinian-Israeli conflict.

A paper work done by Joseph Salloum (kindly ask for my permission if you want to copy or use any information provided in this article)

In the context of morality in journalism one must take precision when it comes to conflict. A single direct prominent judgment is not expected. Instead an affluent reporter has not to be marginalized and ethically literate. In this context we will take the Israeli-Palestinian conflict understudy. And will, consecutively, debate two selected articles under this dispute. What are the factors that affect the media coverage of this conflict? And How media can desensitize or inflame the attitude of people toward conflict?

The texts chosen for this debate; first by the political science professor Benjamin Ferron, a criticizing note published by the center of research on the political action in Europe – CNRS. The latter text is the 34th chapter From “The Handbook of Global Communication and Media Ethics” written by Oliver Witte Published in 2011 By Blackwell Publishing.

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Keep Quiet

…while going through “Hunger” by Roxane Gay today, i stopped at passage where she describes her academic experience. It makes me recall how much different i grew from what they expected. They, who raised me for the benefit of the common, not for the comfort of my own. They, who up-brought me to be that obedient kid, to be excellent in academics and their social standing.

It is fair, we’re all the result of a constructed system that bestows its perfection before other contemporary  movements.

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Mental Illness: Stigma Struggle

The death of Chester Bennington has brought the debate about mental illness to the superimposed collective of discussions. People are still arguing on whether death is moral is not when we could’ve saved many drowning depressed out of their own virtual prison.

The escalating speech on suicide should be free of judgments poured on by the laymen of day to day sophistication. Speaking of laymen, who brought the underestimation of mental health, rendered those who are suffering from the bouquet of mental illnesses helpless. To be at a point you can verbalize your mental weaknesses isn’t easy, especially in the presence of a system that devalues the human psyche and isolates the consequences of such a pathology from the illness itself.

Where people can’t afford a psychiatric visit, soul-bound healing sessions on the long run and pricey chemicals to set them stable. Not to mention the hectic procedure someone would go through if got access.

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Bullying: surviving Chronos. 

Sometimes you watch something and you say “you know? I can relate much”.  I know series and movies are made-up things but they can be very rational. 

Few days ago I finished #13ReasonsWhy , the series talks about a girl (Hannah Baker) who committed suicide. Before she died, Hannah released 13 tapes on 13 reasons why she killed herself. The story could be dramatic for some people. I mean some people think her suicide etiologies can be put to absolute discussion and make it pathetic or even relate it to attention, but it’s not what I’m talking about here. 

What I can relate to my life in this series is the bullying; the only one reason that can lead someone to end his/her life. I’ve been bullied so much at school and highschool. Classmates used to make fun of my moustache, which i was afraid to shave because of my dad. They kept making fun of it for a whole year, on daily basis. I used to wish I could disappear, or not to be the center of attention? Couldn’t they stop noticing my presence? Sometimes i used to cry in the school’s restrooms, you know it’s maybe the safest place where you can let your tears free without someone noticing, because “crying is not for men”, “crying is for pussies”!

There’s a character in the series called Bryce. Bryce is this highschool boy, who participates in sports activity, who has a gang, who wants to”fu**” every girl in school and pretend that they everyone wants to hang out with him. There was someone like bryce in my school, he used to accuse me of being gay and a pussy because you know, you’re still virgin, in a heteronormative context. I had to stand this for 3 years. Those 3 years was hell to me. I wished i could suffocate him. This memory came back to me while watching the series,  I felt those cramps in my hands and legs, Iwished i can suffocate this character, it sounds very dramatic i know, but i hated him. 

They once took a photo of my intergluteal cleft and shared it to all the class. 

Anyway, bullying is very bad. It can stay there, in your mind, for the rest of your life. It can drive you crazy. It can make you feel shitty and invaluable. It’s not about attention, but people keep dehumanizing those who commit suicide because of bullying, as if they are drama people and they want attention. It’s not like that no;It kills you slowly. You wish you can disappear. 

Being claustrophobic in public transportation.

First, I should point out that we don’t really have public transportation; private buses owned by mafias. But being used by any other monotonous individual like me, it’s termed public transportation.

The girl doesn’t stop crying, her mother seems very chained to that conversation she’s making. She can’t get her eyes outta the screen of that loud annoying smartphone. A bunch of macho men got in. Those people are the most disturbing. They think they can sit with crotch opened, bothering everyone beisde them. I don’t really know what’s the link between opened crotches and a man’s attitude. And if by any chance you point out that it’s annoying for you, they might feel very comfortable and sometimes very agressive. 

The girl stopped crying finally. She’s playing with the blondie woman sitting behind her. 

The macho man lighted up a cigarette. He doesn’t really care if it bothers anyone. He thinks he has the right to smoke. He’s taking 2 placess, the bus is full, but he’s still taking 2 places. 

I don’t really know how people can get to know each others in the bus. They keep shouting some pathetic jokes and laughing at themselves. I’m breathing slowly, i feel the oxygen is not really enough. 

Can they stop talking? Can i disappear under the seat until i arrive? 

The girl and her mother got off the bus. Finally less noise. 

The man keeps smoking…

sinking into anxieties

writing could be a way of expressing thoughts that you can’t really point out by speaking. But it happens that you could develop a fear of writing, a fear that accompanies me while writing this blog. A fear of judgment that makes me prefer staying quiet and not even saying (or writing) a word.

this fear of writing could make you unable to finish a post, but why do you really have to finish writing something anyway. These limitations suffocate you. And trying to escape from sinking into these anxieties needs a space void of boundaries, so it’s void.