…while going through “Hunger” by Roxane Gay today, i stopped at passage where she describes her academic experience. It makes me recall how much different i grew from what they expected. They, who raised me for the benefit of the common, not for the comfort of my own. They, who up-brought me to be that obedient kid, to be excellent in academics and their social standing.
It is fair, we’re all the result of a constructed system that bestows its perfection before other contemporary movements.
It all starts in the academic system, house of ivory towers. Parents establish the fear of failure amidst their pupils. It might be understandable, especially that they have to think about all the expenses they pay for us to have the “proper” education (where sometimes going to a public school might be a privilege). This too, is another load we carry that buds another fear not to fail. Here comes the social fight; you’re studying for them to show off of their son’s standing. What’s mentioned is comprehensible, expected and well planed up to this point, especially that the system imposes big loads on them that they expect them to be shared.
Those fears who let you adopt anything imposed by this environment who represent the essence of the patriarchal system, which by itself oppresses you towards the general path, and by which you are committed to future you never expected. You may like it, or not.
Following few events in the political scene in Lebanon lately and the raise of this supportive discourse to armed forces, you are expected to share the same current they, the upbringing environment adopts. And which can be against your political views and reasoning. Here, you feel the oppression of this system and how it shaped your unspeakable understandings. Here, you feel the fear of never expressing. That fear which grew up by this system itself. Using the same tools to keep you held under its reign. You may like it, or not.